CHOCOLATE - CURE FOR ALL ILLS?

Praise be to the God of PMS… A leading scientist claims to have proof that a chemical found in chocolate could stave off all sorts of diseases - from dementia to strokes.

Professor Norman Hollenberg, of Harvard Medical School, has spent years studying central American Indians whose diet is exceptionally rich in cocoa. He said epicatechin, a compound which occurs naturally in cocoa beans, could prove as important to medicine as penicillin or anaesthesia.

He found the Kuna tribe rarely suffer from high blood pressure and have much lower rates of cancer, heart disease and strokes - some of the biggest killers in the developed world - than neighbouring tribes in Panama.

He thinks that it’s all down to epicatechin, which they get a large daily dose of - drinking up to five cups of cocoa a day.

Our favourite Professor also said the health benefits of the chemical, which is also found in tea, wine and some fruit and vegetables, could be enormous.

He added: "If these observations predict the future, then we can say without blushing that they are among the most important observations in the history of medicine.

"We all agree that penicillin and anaesthesia are enormously important. But epicatechin could potentially get rid of four of the five most common diseases in the Western world. How important does that make epicatechin? I would say very important."

The only thing that would make me slightly dubious about the findings, much as I would love to believe that chocolate really IS the answer to everything, is that the work was part-funded by Mars. Who may have a teensy weensy vested interest in the findings...

Still, according to the research, which compared the health of the Kuna, who live on a group of isolated islands, with that of inhabitants of the Panamanian mainland, death certificates showed that they were 25 times less likely to die of cancer and 13 times less likely to be killed by a stroke. Possibly down to starting on the cocoa as soon as they are weaned?

Death from heart disease was five times less common, while diabetes deaths were six times less common, according to the report in the International Journal of Medical Sciences.

Other research showed that when the Kuna moved to the mainland, they were more likely to suffer from these conditions - suggesting their previous good health was due to diet rather than genes.

Epicatechin is supposed to boost health by relaxing blood vessels and improving circulation, and could help people who suffer with dementia, impotence and pre-eclampsia, a life-threatening complication of pregnancy. So, if it can do all that, it can make me feel happier when my period’s due. Pass the Butterscotch Green & Black’s, someone…it’s GOOD for me!