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ARE YOU AN HSP?
In defining the Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Aron provides examples of characteristic behaviours, and these are reflected in the questions she typically asks patients or interview subjects:
- Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
- Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
- Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
- Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
- Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
- Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
- Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
- When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?
DON'T BE SO SENSITIVE!
Have you grown up being told that you’re too sensitive? Do you bite your lip to stop yourself crying at sad songs? And do you ‘just know’ when someone is in a bad mood?
If you’ve always felt a bit of an outsider, because nobody understands your need to retreat into a book, or just your imagination, for some ‘me time’, it can come as a surprise to you that you could be one of many people blessed with the traits of a ‘Highly Sensitive Person’ or ‘Empath’.
A highly sensitive person (HSP) processes sensory data exceptionally deeply and thoroughly due to a biological difference in their nervous system.
Research
Dr. Elaine N. Aron's extensive research identified this as a specific trait that was sometimes confused with shyness or introversion. Although the term is usually used to describe humans, the trait is present in nearly all higher animals, and inherited by 15 to 20% of the population.
About me!
I only put a name to the way I’ve always felt very recently. As a child I was highly creative, and had what you might call a fertile imagination. I could invent scenarios and stories, write plays and poems, and invent whole life stories for my toys. The thing is – I thought everybody else did this too. I’d retreat into this world whenever things got too much at home – being the eldest of three meant that the house was noisy and there was always something going on. Some people labelled me as shy – but I liked being around people…I just enjoyed being on my own as well.
As a child I had many strange phobias – another trait common to the HSP, because of having such a sensitive nervous system. I was petrified of balloons in case they burst. Fireworks scared me, as did thunderstorms and loud bangs of any type. I had to be taken home in tears when the nasty clown’s car exploded at the circus – I hated dodgems with a pasion, and couldn’t be in the same room as my Nan’s tumble drier.
Scaredy Cat!
Was I just a scaredy cat? Perhaps not – loud noises genuinely hurt HSPs – and even now if an ambulance siren screams past me it jangles every nerve in my body. I still hear every noise in the house and can’t sleep if the gate is banging or even if my husband leaves the PC on and I can hear it’s gentle buzz.
After this was pointed out to me as a possibility – and I spoke to my reflexologist who confirmed “I told you that five years ago” – I started to research what it actually meant. I realised I could tick all the boxes.
I can’t stand bright lights (I’ve made the office caretakers come and turn my strip light off at work twice) I’m prone to migraines and allergies; I am always turning the TV down; when emotional scenes are on the TV or in films I have to try very hard not to cry or get ‘emotionally involved’; I get stressed when I’m feeling crowded by people; I can’t do anything (even type properly) when I’m being watched…and have failed my driving test three times; I find it hard to concentrate on what anyone says to me if I’m in a large group of people and they are all talking. And heaven help me if I hear ‘Nothing Compares 2U’ – I’m off like a tap.
Theories
One of the theories about why some people are so highly sensitive is that when we evolved, some of us were brave (foolhardy) warriors, the people who went rushing in spears aloft and ready for war…while some of us sat back – watching, listening and thinking because there was always the chance that a rival army were about to spring. Basically, some of us held back and assessed the situation to avoid a massacre. Sounds pretty sensible to me.
I’m finding out more and more about this fascinating phenomenon – the physical side of it is interesting, but the emotional and spiritual side of Empathy is utterly fascinating. If you’ve ever felt that you knew exactly what someone was thinking the minute you met them, felt inexplicably upset in someone’s company, or realised that you spend a lot of time thinking about the past, and some events feel so raw – it’s like they happened yesterday as soon as you hear that song, smell that fragrance, or see that film…watch this space, as I’ll be writing more!
Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?
