get that man (or woman)

By Christophe Spiessens

How insecurity holds you back from meeting Mr Right.

• Have you had yet another night of looking fabulous after spending a small fortune on your makeover, but you still feel a bitdisappointed because you didn't meet anyone?
• Do you hate yourself for behaving in a way that felt uncomfortable - but still felt that you had to because you wanted to be like that girl on the cover ofa fashion magazine? 
• Did you say all the things you didn't want to say or maybe you were hiding in a corner, secretly hoping that people would leave you alone?

If insecurity is holding you back from living freely, then it is also likely to be the reason why you may find it hard to meet new people, and therefore potentially Mr.Right. Overcoming feelings of insecurity can be a lot easier than you might think.  What’s more, YOU can do it too and you don’t have to enrol on any expensive psychology course!

Here are three simple steps to release fear and self-doubt and to become more confident than you ever imagined possible.  I invite you to see how ‘changing your thinking’ resonates with you:

Step 1: Create a list of all the reasons why you are so worthy and why people would be crazy not to spend time with you.  For example: ‘I am a good listener’, ‘I have lots of interests’, ‘I love life’, ‘I have a lot to offer’, ‘I am quite attractive’, ‘I can be good fun’, etc.  Be honest with yourself and come up with a list of all the things you like about yourself and which you think others might find attractive about you.  Come up with at least 15 great reasons.

Step 2:  Now turn all the items on you list into affirmations.  Affirmations are ‘power thoughts’ that have the potential to make us believe what we think.  Too often we use a negative form of affirmations such as ‘I’m to fat’ or ‘I could never do that’ or ‘I am rubbish at this or that’.  And it is precisely because we think those thoughts over and over again that unfortunately we start believing them, hence making us feel even more insecure and unworthy.  So let’s brainstorm about a few ideas how you could turn the reasons you wrote on your list in Step1 into positive affirmations:Here are some great examples:

• ‘People come to me because I am a good listener, and I am pleased that they confide in me!’
• ‘My many interests allow me to meet like-minded people, and my social circle expands every day!’
• ‘I am attractive and willing to show my beauty to the world!’
• ‘I am fun to hang out with and people enjoy my company!’

Get it!?  Your positive affirmations should be sweet and to the point, using ‘I’ often, as it reinforces the idea of you being in control of yourself and willing to change the thoughts that are no longer serving you.  Have fun with all this!  Start with a few affirmations and then add more and more, until you have what I would call a ‘toolkit’ for attracting Mr. Right!

Step 3:  Affirmations are only helpful when you use them very often.  You should almost feel naked leaving the home without having done your affirmation first.  A great time for saying your affirmations is in the morning when you are getting ready for your day.  You really can program yourself to attract precisely the people and situations in your life that you wish for, simply by changing the way you think.

This will take a bit of practice but the results will be amazing.  You will see.  Every time a self-destructive thought comes to your mind, immediately replace it with a one of self-appreciation.  You will walk around feeling wonderful about yourself and about life, full of positive expectation.  You will radiate joy and passion, and precisely that will attract people to you. 
After all, who wants to miss out on a good time?