SARAH TAKES THE BIG LEAP

Answer the following. Do you...

• Feel like you're wasting your potential?
• Like your job but can’t believe that this is it for the next 10 years?
• Hate your job and can’t believe that this is it for the next 10 years?
• Moan about your work but do nothing to change it?
• Find yourself on the rat run thinking ‘there has to be another way’?

To me, that sounded familiar. So when I was offered the chance to have a go at Life Coaching with Suzy Greaves, founder of The Big Leap Coaching Company, I jumped at it.

I feel like my potential is being swallowed up by working for a completely non-creative organisation that doesn’t encourage anyone to think (and certainly not to write) differently. I’ve always wanted to be in a creative job, but government communications feels like going through the motions.

I like the people I work with and the job is far from the worst I’ve ever had but to be honest, the thought of another ten years of it fills me with dread! Ten years on, we’ll still be discussing ‘strategies’ for things we haven’t resolved in the four years I’ve been there, and I’ll still be trying and failing to get people to contribute to the staff newsletter.

I certainly moan about the job, it’s practically an office sport. I haven’t done anything to change it…yet…because I’ve got the potential house move and new mortgage to think about. And don’t even get me started on the house move!
There does have to be another way. I just don’t know what it is…

Goal setting

…which is where Suzy came along last week and convinced me that I can change my life and achieve my goals. I just had to set them first!

We had a conversation, whichlasted for well over the allocated hour, where she got to know about me, how I work, and what I want from life. We established that although my ‘La la land’ goals were ambitious – involving living in the Canadian Rockies, producing Relentlessly Positive for a mass International market and getting paid handsomely for it, we could break down my short term goals into four.

1. Earn an extra £500 per month
2. Get viewing numbers up to a steady 50 – 100 per day for Relentlessly Positive
3. Sell the house and find the perfect place to buy, a haven with lots of space, peace and quiet that is also close enough to amenities to make my life easier.
4. Really get my head around the Food Philosophy to beat my overeating for ever.

Suzy talked me through where my life was at the moment. There’s never enough money to do the things I want to do. There’s enough to cover the things that I need but I’d like to have enough that I can afford the little treats in life, or to socialise a bit more, without panicking about cash or slapping it on the plastic and worrying later. Suzy set the ambitious target and I was wavering – do I put my faith in the techniques she’s giving me? An extra £500 a month?
I’ve been disappointed with the numbers of people looking at the website. Suzy pointed out that it’s brand new and I don’t have a budget for PR or marketing, so every hit that I get is by word of mouth or my own efforts. Still, I’m a perfectionist and I want more for the site…we decided to work on that as well as my attitude to success.

The lack of interest in the house is beginning to depress me slightly, so a HUGE part of my life plan is to get the hell out of here and into the little house I day dream about. Life feels like a slog when I have to spend three hours a day or more to travel a pathetic 20 miles to work & back. It’s also expensive, draining £150 from my salary every month in train & bus fares. It’s stressful, as the buses are rarely on time. My social life is dictated by living in a small town with no public transport after 6:30 in the evening, and no driving licence. Moving to a better town would give me some freedom, less stress, save me money on public transport that I resent paying for …and end up with us living in the perfect house.

Finally, the Food Philosophy. I’ve seen so many people transforming their lives with this course but I haven’t got to full grips with it yet. People are happier, more confident and getting slimmer while I seem to be lurching from one week to the next, not quite ‘getting it’. I suspect that much of this is down to my hectic timescale and not being 110% dedicated. One of my biggest problems, an intrinsic part of the course, is boosting my self esteem and dropping the obsession with the scales…because ironically, it’s this hurdle that stops people fully taking in the course.

That agreed, I talked to Suzy about my feelings around these goals, and what I’d need to do to achieve them. She picked up that I’m something of a frustrated achiever, with high ideals and ambitions, but that I get very disappointed and disheartened if things don’t happen for me as fast or as well as I planned. It’s this that makes me lose interest and so I don’t seem to reach my goals – I give up before I get the chance.

Letting people down

Part of this is also down to not wanting to let anyone down, and if I think that’s going to happen I feel terrible. Suzy picked up that I feel guilty a lot – guilty about failing, about not living up to expectations, and letting people down. This isn’t counselling – it wasn’t about looking back into my childhood and blaming something that happened when I was seven! But we did try and work out why I feel guilty so much of the time. That’s something I have to give some thought to!

A potential issue for me, Suzy also made me realise, was my insistence on doing things by myself. I’m reluctant to accept help, as I feel bad at not being able to do things myself. I don’t like to put people out and put on a great show of being Ms Independent, even though deep down I just want someone, sometimes, to say, "Let me do that" This, we concluded, was one of the things that was going to sabotage my dreams. Nobody can do it all!

Overdoing it?

Suzy uttered the words, "So…you work full time….you spend over three hours a day travelling….you design and write your own website, which is probably more like a magazine and a full time job in itself….and you’re trying to sell your house? How do you even stay standing?" I had to accept I probably am pushing myself a bit!

This brought us to my first tasks. The first one is nice and easy…and will be fun. I intend to do it this weekend. I have to write down all four of my goals, address a ‘letter to the universe’ or to God, or whoever I choose…and ask for everything I want. I have to explain what I want in detail, and what I will do to achieve these goals.

The second will be harder…I have to ask somebody for help with all four goals. Who, what and how is up to me. But I have to get myself over the hurdle of asking for help! So far I’ve e-mailed a couple of requests to people with the power to help me with the Food Philosophy and with getting me in a position to try and make the extra £500 a month. How to ask for help with the house and getting website hits up – trickier. I have another appointment for a chat with Suzy in just over a week. I’ll keep you posted on my progress…