PART TWO...ANOTHER BIG LEAP

Suzy had her work cut out for our second call, after the seismic flop of the brilliant marketing idea that was ‘Januarys’ Open for Viewings weekend’ – and a horrible day at work.

I did my homework – I wrote four pleading letters to whoever is in charge of the wish department, telling them exactly what I wanted to happen. I’m still looking for more cash, a house sale, more website hits and getting to grips with the Food Philosophy. I know exactly where I am with all four of my cunning plans – it’s just getting further with them that I need the help with!

Suzy asked me to complete a pre-call sheet going into where I’d got to with my goals the previous two weeks. Luckily I’ve made some progress with asking other people for help, or as she put it ‘opening my receiving valve!’ After reading the sheet through, she and I both agreed that I really needed to look at where my wanting to do everything tendencies came from – and focus on one or two areas of life that I could make a real effort on, rather than attempting to do everything at once.

Teenage rebellion

Looking back, I think my determination to prove myself and be noticed probably comes from being a high achiever at school – until I discovered boys and teenage rebellion at about 15. I was used to being top of the class and I rarely did badly in reports or exams…so I thought I was infallible and just didn’t bother doing too much revision for my O Levels (yes, I really did do O Levels…) It was much more fun snogging boys after school than it was doing maths revision.

As a result, my exam results were distinctly average. Mum and Dad were severely unimpressed and I was made to go out and get a job instead of doing what I’d always assumed I’d do – sixth form and Uni. It shook me up and I had to grow up fast. I started taking A Levels after school, just to prove that I was as clever as I’d always thought I was, and it’s been the same ever since. I always have something on the go. I get bored with jobs very quickly and I’m always looking for new challenges. Suzy’s impression was that the work I’m doing is less than I’m actually capable of, so I get bored easily. She told me I came across as very bright and creative – but under stimulated.

I guess that’s how I ended up in a dull job, running a website, attempting to learn HTML and wanting to write freelance features for anyone who’ll have them. How many jobs does one girl actually need? I needed to streamline so decided to focus on *me* for a couple of weeks.

Prioritising

Suzy asked me to decide which of my goals to prioritise – which would make the most difference to my life at the moment? I thought about it and settled on the Food Philosophy. The house sale is still a biggie but it’s to some extent out of my control and it would just frustrate me to focus in on something I couldn’t directly control. After explaining a bit of the Philosophy to Suzy, we decided that I’m going to aim to rate every day out of ten on how well I’ve managed to follow the principles of FP. It’s not as easy a target to set as ‘losing weight’ as it’s very hard to measure. But I’ll know how well I’m doing. I’m going to carry on asking for help, and focus really hard on doing everything I can to get to grips with the course.

Feelings

Suzy also took me through a ‘getting in touch with your feelings’ routine that’s designed to help me deal with stresses and emotions as they come up, instead of battling them away and not dealing with them. She asked me to remember how I felt on Sunday when nobody turned up to the house viewing – I said it was like inviting the whole class to your 10th birthday party and nobody turning up! (luckily that never happened but I imagine if it did I’d have felt pretty damn miserable.)

From that, I had to feel the emotion really intensely…then let it go and ‘drop through it’ until eventually the feelings subsided and I’d feel peaceful. It actually worked. It was brilliant. I was in a much better mood after speaking to Suzy, that’s for sure.

We finished off by talking shop – discussing features that will help me get the magazine or newspaper column I’m desperate for, ideas for Suzy to publicise Relentlessly Positive so that I get more hits, and a general brainstorming of ideas. I came away with a much clearer idea of where I’m headed for the next two weeks, and quite relieved that I’m giving my brain a bit of a rest!